In lieu of a Valentine’s Day card, I thought I would write a blog post. Tim sneakily checks my blog from time to time to see if I’ve written anything, and always tells me that I don’t post enough, so these deepest innermost thoughts are for him. And, y’know, everyone else who wants to read it.
Growing up, I put a lot of stock in romantic love, specifically from movies and TV. I guess that might have been partly due to the rocky foundation that my parents had, and that was the only example I really got. They barely talked to each other, let alone showed any type of affection around me. Maybe that’s also why I wanted it so badly. Whatever the reason, I longed for it and suffered through my younger years searching for something I never found. Perhaps I was too eager for some people’s tastes, or maybe they were just young and didn’t know what they wanted either.
I will spare you the long and angsty journey of discovery and heartache in my college years, but I eventually learned to focus on other things and stop feeling so bad for not being with someone. Long story short, I tried to live in the “now” and be upfront with my feelings, and Tim and I gradually became an us.
We’re going on two years now, and I’ve learned a lot of things. The biggest and most pleasant surprise is how easy everything has been. One of my favorite quotes about love is from John Green: “I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once.” For me, this was so much more accurate than the dramatic reveal when the music swells depicted in so many movies. The moment I knew I was in love was very simple and not dramatic. We were laying in bed after a housewarming party. I was upset about some people not showing up, and he told me it was ok to be upset, but he was going to stay because he cared about me. It was the simplest and sweetest of moments, and I wouldn’t trade it for any stereotypical public confession of love.
Every other “milestone” has gone the same way. When my grandma died, he went with me to St. Louis without complaint. When I had to move out of my room in Johanna’s house, we moved in together without a second thought. Now we’re entertaining the idea of buying a house together and none of it is scary. It just seems normal. It makes sense. WE make sense.
On this Valentine’s Day, instead of buying expensive things and going out to the fanciest restaurant in town (though we did get burgers last night, and we do have some chocolate and wine) we’re building a blanket fort in the living room and watching movies all day.
Whatever way you decide to celebrate (or not celebrate), just make it about you and the people you love. It doesn’t even have to be about romantic love. Celebrate your friendship, your family, and your pets. Just have fun. :)
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